Join Joike (heh—catch that one?) and the ‘bots for another romp through four sub-subpar films in MST3K Volume XVIII. This marks the first set since the 20th Anniversary Edition that does not include a season one offering (a plus, if you ask me—sorry, MST historians, but we’d be better off with a separate collection for the S1 eps). But perhaps even more impressively, the earliest episode included here (from Season 2: Lost Continent) is authentically funny. Forgiving an (expectedly) rather thin selection of extras, in fact, this is as complete a set of MST3K that we’ve seen to date—and a fabulous place to start if you’re just getting into the phenomenon.
So, without further delay: the included episodes, and my thoughts on each!
Jack Frost could eat no… frost
Jack Frost (Episode 813)
I’m not sure what’s more offensive: the fact that someone, somewhere, actually thought it would be a good idea to publish a Russo-Finnish dubbed film about Jack Frost in America, or the utterly carefree lack of coherence and sanity of said film. I mean, for crying out loud, it’s more like a happy-go-lucky series of random fairy-tale ideas than an actual story, and Jack Frost himself doesn’t even show up until the second half of the movie. Sprinkle in a wicked witch, a walking house, an evil stepmother, a three-pig open sleigh, and a little magic mushroom man, and you’ve got yourself a film you could just as well have named Sleeping Beauty Robin Hansel Cinderella… and Jack Frost.
Fortunately, M&tB do a fabulous job of reaming the movie; not for its dreadful dubbing, but rather, more perceptively, for its other infinitely numerous missteps. It’s one of those rarer episodes that actually starts off somewhat slowly before accelerating to a speeding finish (approaching the skin-peeling velocity of Jack Frost’s sleigh). It’s wacky enough to be truly side-splitting even on its own, so when you add the expertly-crafted riffs of the MST3K crew to the mix, this bizarre, foreign chimera of folklore and frost arguably becomes one of the most unforgettable journeys aboard the SOL.
9/10
Extras on this disc:
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New Introduction by Kevin Murphy (8:58) – Kevin’s interviews are always top-notch, and this one doesn’t disappoint. In it, he explains the challenges of riffing a Russo-Finnish dubbed film—the fact that you can’t make too much out of the already silly dialogue, and the odd sensation that the quality of music, sound, and even the props was far more favorable than in nearly any other film the MST3K crew did. He recounts some of the most memorable aspects of the film for the crew, and then spends a few short moments discussing the Lord of the Dance parody during the opening host segment.
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It’s Jurassic Park, Papier-mâché style
Lost Continent (Episode 208)
You know, Robert Lippert will tell you how it’s tough filling out a full hour and some change when you’re filmmaking. Cue rock climbing, eating lunch, sitting in the jungle, and flying a rocket. Rock climbing again. And again. It all sounds spellbinding, for sure, but your dad liked this one when he saw it back in the day. It’s about an island—er, continent—which apparently has been lost in time. Huge amounts of radiation apply, of course, and the movie makes no bones about the validity of such no-nonsense reasoning. Too bad the dinosaurs are all stop-motion Claymation-style kids’ fare, or else it might actually be affecting to some degree when the cast starts dropping like flies. Heck, it was good for its time, but it’s funny stuff on MST3K.
Speaking of the cast, it’s as packed with stars as the SOL ever saw, including Cesar Romero (the Joker on the 60’s Batman TV series), Sid Melton (from Green Acres and a million other shows), Hugh Beaumont (the dad on Leave it to Beaver), and Whit Bissell (from everything). They’re all part of this 40% rock climbing, 60% Jurassic Park four decades too early concoction, and all in all, it’s massively entertaining. Personally, I was shocked to find that this episode originated from the second season, as I think it’s the best I’ve seen from that era (and in general, I have expected the truly great material to have originated from season three and onward).
Oh, and on that note, I probably should mention that the video in this episode is imperfect and occasionally encounters distortions; it was rescued from the “best known surviving” copy of the show. I think (though I’m not certain) that they also ran the final video copy through some sort of noise filter to clean it up a little more. All in all, it looks great. Man, it’s crazy how much trouble these people go through to get some of these episodes to us.
8/10
Extras on this disc:
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New Introduction by Frank Conniff (5:35 – Lost Continent) – Frank Conniff talks about the all-star cast of Lost Continent and how their careers affected the pop-cult riffs throughout the episode. Since the episode was pretty early on in the series (Episode 201), also, Frank references the rather “unpolished” nature of the riffing, and how it brings the authenticity of Joel and the bots to the production. He also, of course, covers the “epic” rock climbing sequence, which was painful enough to endure in the company of the MST3K gang… but surely was much worse for the writers.
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Original Theatrical Trailer
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Guess what happens in this movie. Go ahead, guess.
Crash of the Moons (with short General Hospital) (Episode 417)
Join Rocky, Winky, and Ampersand as they deal with two planetary bodies (the “gypsy moons”) on a collision course. Along the way, you’ll witness futuristic gas chambers, futuristic tripping, and endless futuristic dialogue. Sadly, there truly isn’t much futuristic action to behold, but we do get to enjoy the same landing scene at least four times throughout the film, as well as a handful of others derived from the idea. Plus, we’re treated to the whining of Queen Bitch of Gypsy Moon A for the duration of the film, who’d just rather blow up the other moon to save her own. Riveting film work aside, the jokes are not so numerous, but on point nonetheless. It’s slow and boring for sure, but with the help of Joel and gang, it’s as entertaining as it is awful. There are a couple of amusing skits in this one also; most memorably, Mike as John Banner’s character (Bavarro… good pizza). The short is even slower than the film, but if you’ve seen the first General Hospital foray, this is comparable.
7/10
Extras on this disc:
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Mystery Science Theater Hour Wraps (5:01 – Crash of the Moons) – As usual, it’s Mike Nelson’s impersonation of Jack Perkins, originally recorded for network television syndication during the mid-nineties. These wraps were found at the beginning and end of both halves of each MST3K episode to better accommodate the needs of the airing networks.
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This movie stops at nothing—and stays there.
The Beast of Yucca Flats (with shorts Money Talks and Progress Island, USA) (Episode 621)
This one opens right off the bat with two positively hilarious shorts. In Money Talks, a kid with a budgeting problem gets a remedial visit from one of the founding fathers. It’s one of the better shorts I never saw, and I’m quite surprised it didn’t make any of the special collections. The second short, Progress Island USA, tries to convince us all to move to Puerto Rico because it’s the exact same thing as the United States. It’s not as classic as Money Talks, but it’s still pretty good.
As for The Beast of Yucca Flats… It was a dark and boring night. A Coleman Francis film is made. Flag on the Moon. A man murdered. A woman’s purse.
As Tom Servo so eloquently puts it, “This movie stops at nothing—and stays there.”
The whole movie is illogically light on dialogue, though I suppose when you consider the (lack of) complexity of the plot, it’s not a total loss. Hell, even when people are talking, we don’t get to see them doing it: Coleman instead focuses the camera bizarrely on either the listener or blocks the view entirely with, e.g., a car. Riotous. Better yet, though, is the addition of the narrator, who, throughout the entire film, repeatedly utters random phrases such as “a man runs, somebody shoots at him.”
Footprints in the wasteland.
Tor Johnson, noted wrestler and star of such high-quality Ed Wood films as Plan 9 From Outer Space and Bride of the Monster, guest stars as—you guessed it—the Beast (“Now that’s just smart casting”, adds Mike). This is one of the funniest terrible films MST3K has ever done, and it’s not to be missed.
9/10
Extras on this disc:
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No Dialogue Necessary – Making An “Off-Camera Masterpiece” (27:34) – A side-splitting satirical documentary about the making of The Beast of Yucca Flats. Frank Conniff, a B-Movie filmmaker, a cult film historian, and one of the cameramen who shot the film (Lee Strosnider, friend of Coleman Francis) contribute to the dialogue about the film’s qualities (however lacking). Throughout this half-hour adventure, we are treated to a dissection of nearly every aspect of the film, from the casting (Tor Johnson ahoy), to the music (ripped from several other popular B-grade films of the time), and across numerous oddities which could only relate to a Coleman Francis production. Stuff like the uncomfortable nudity in the opening of the film (cut from the MST3K version, of course, but witnessed here in this extra) and the bizarre off-camera dialogue and action that interlace the entire movie.
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Coleman Francis: The Cinematic Poet of Parking (8:25) – Lee Strosnider discusses his time with Coleman Francis and the unusual approaches to filmmaking that underlay his productions (such as, for instance, his resourceful tendency to acquire money from the unlikeliest of sources). It’s an interesting (if slightly depressing) recount from an insider that focuses less on Yucca and more on the whole of Francis’ works, as well as his last days and the tragedy of his decline.
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Stills Gallery
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Original Theatrical Trailer
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And, as always, we get four more first-rate lobby cards illustrated by Artist Steve Vance (I really like the Jack Frost piece).