So then, in no particular order (except chronologically):
AIRPLANE HANGER != EXPOSITION CENTER
WHAT WE LEARNED: If ever we’re running our own expo, we’ll be sure not to host it in an airplane hanger, no matter how nice the carpeting turns out.
WAITING SUCKS
WHAT WE LEARNED: Waiting sucks, especially if you’re stuck with a family that doesn’t even know the difference between a remote control and a freaking candy bar.
CHEWBACCA DOESN’T REALLY PLAY PSP
WHAT WE LEARNED: He’s actually the worst kind of Nintendo fanboy, so if it ain’t on DS, he ain’t touching it.
SHUTTLES SUCK TOO
WHAT WE LEARNED: Don’t trust the driver when he tells you he had to take the same route forward, backward, and then forward again because his vehicle only takes trips in multiples of three. He’s lying in want of a better tip, the son of a bitch.
IF IT INVOLVES SHAKING YOUR HIPS, DON’T LET NATHAN DO IT
WHAT WE LEARNED: Unfortunately nothing. I mean no offense here; please get that pink slip away from me.
MR. BICEP IS EVERYWHERE
WHAT WE LEARNED: This man—er, machine, whatever—is literally everywhere. Not really sure why it took us so long to figure this one out.
IT’S NOT THE REAL BAYONETTA
WHAT WE LEARNED: Even if you ask her to combo you, she doesn’t get any more naked.
WALDO IS A PLAYER
WHAT WE LEARNED: Pimpin’ ain’t easy, but it’s necessary. Contrary to popular belief, wearing stripes apparently gets you noticed in a hurry. Also boobs.
COMPUTING IS FUN
WHAT WE LEARNED: A little lighter on the caffeine and illegal narcotics.
L.A.: THE LAP OF LUXURY
WHAT WE LEARNED: Reclining toilets are not an everyday thing. You pay for this sort of hospitality—with your dignity.
