Mystery Science Theater 3000 20th Anniversary Edition

Let me begin with review with a confession. When rumors began to circulate that Volume 12 would be the last of Rhino’s Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVD sets, I was very worried. I fear that I was perhaps a part of the silent majority who was actually pretty pleased with how the company had been handling the releases. Sure, they’ve always been expensive, but it isn’t exactly an easy show to package. For starters, each episode is an hour and a half long, and then there’s the process of securing rights to re-release the films from their owners.

But it seems all of my fears were for naught, as MST3K has found a perfectly suitable home in the enthusiastic hands of Shout! Factory. With Mystery Science Theater 3000: 20^th Anniversary Edition, we’re treated to four hilarious (and predictably awful) films that constitute one of the best DVD sets of the series yet. The fans at Shout! Factory have also included a healthy amount of special features (amounting to around two hours total of extra content) that MSTies are sure to eat up. But let’s take it from the top.

A Legend of Man, Robot, and Terrible Film

I did a lot of MST3K reviews at the old (now defunct) Gamerz-Edge, but seeing as this is the first one to hit DigitalChumps, it’s only proper to obey formality and reintroduce the subject. What we’re dealing with here in MST3K is possibly the most significant cult television program that America has ever seen. Most people who were alive during the nineties at least recognize it, though typically it’s necessary to prime their memories by showing them the classic theater strip for which the show is known. The gist of the Emmy-nominated, Peabody-awarded show is that a man—Joel Robinson—is shot into space by his evil sadistic boss and subsequently forced to endure the worst films humanity has ever conjured. For sake of his sanity, he constructs four robots with whom he can socialize (Crow, Tom Servo, Gypsy, and Cambot)… and before long, the former two have joined him in the theater to help ridicule these dreadful films. The net result is an experience that is amusing on multiple levels: not only do we get to watch some of the most ludicrous and repulsive film work ever, but we’re also treated to an unending barrage of hilarious insults which are saturated by smart pop-cult references and quick wit. It’s the urge to yell back at the screen embodied in one priceless television program.

Now that that’s out of the way

I realize, however, that most everyone reading this review is probably already a fan. Considering that, let’s dive into the specifics of the set.

As usual, you get four episodes, and this time, they’re actually all in color (!!). Here’s a quick rundown of each:

• First Spaceship on Venus – When a bizarre alien artifact is found in the Gobi desert, experts are able to determine that it was launched from none other than the planet Venus (orchestra hit). Thus, a manned expedition consisting of astronauts from several major nations is launched in hopes of uncovering life on the celestial neighbor. When they arrive, they find an eerily empty planet covered with tasty Folgers crystals. This is the only Joel episode on the set, and sadly, it’s also arguably the weakest of the four, possibly thanks to the fact that it’s from Season 2 (though everyone has their own opinions on this). It’s still entertaining, however, and especially during the second half of the film, the jokes pick up. The movie really is quite cheesy, though not as genuinely terrible as the other three.

• Werewolf – As a group of archeologists dig in the desert, their inconsiderate boss’ alarming lack of empathy leads to a quarrel. Rather inconveniently, it just so happens that they’ve just dug up a werewolf skeleton—and during the fight, one of the diggers is injured by the excavated bones, thereby damning him to transform into a werewolf himself (see what happens when you don’t follow proper HR procedures?). Following the accident, all manner of lycanthropic fun ensues, beginning with the death of the first werewolf and continuing throughout a series of subsequent victims, conned into their collective predicament by none other than the same disgruntled archaeologist. Mike and the gang deliver a respectable performance of trashing the film, which includes an observation of something much scarier than any werewolf: the ever-changing hairdo of the movie’s antagonist.

• Laserblast – Remember that kid you used to bully in high school? Yeah—what are you going to do if he discovers an alien laser gun off the side of a country road? Well? You need to have a game plan for this kind of thing, and this movie proves it… in a really unconvincing and stupid way. Said teen encounters alien weapon, then begins to transform slowly into mutant beast hunting his enemies. Sound compelling? It’s not, but it sure as hell is funny. This is also the final episode of the Comedy Central era, and thus also the last episode starring Dr. Forrester/Crow actor Trace Beaulieu. The storyline (yes, there’s actually a storyline outside of the film-watching) reveals that Deep 13’s funding has been cut, and thus the Satellite of Love is severed from its grip. This sends our heroes hurtling through space toward an uncertain fate.

• Future War – With a name like Future War, how could it not be great? To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t even recall what the hell happened in this film (believe me, it’s that bad), but I do know that it involved some dude with an enormous chin and a terrifying army of alien dinosaurs (no kidding). Something about humans having been abducted from Earth along with some specimens way back during the stone age, and how the dinosaurs have now been bred to hunt and kill all humans… and of course, they make their way back to Earth to impose their primitive hostility on the unsuspecting public. There’s also this disturbing fetish the movie has for empty boxes and their role in epic battles… and then there’s the nun that used to be a hooker (I’m not making this up). I’m not even sure if that’s all correct, but I think it’s better off if you experience this sci-fi turd for yourself. Mike and the bots do a fantastic job of tearing this rancid celluloid to pieces in what is probably the strongest episode of the collection.